The MeetingMortem journal
Notes on the practice.
Field notes, guides, and the thinking behind MeetingMortem.
Latest · 7 min read
How to Stop Rambling in Meetings: Why Nervous Talkers Over-Explain and the One-Sentence Fix
How to stop rambling in meetings: why anxiety makes you over-explain, why you miss the signal that you've already been understood, and a simple structure to land your point.
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More from the journal
- 02
How to Respond to a Coworker's Good News: Active Constructive Responding and the Four Ways We Quietly Ruin Each Other's Wins
How to respond to a coworker's good news: the way you react to their win shapes your relationship more than how you handle their bad days. Here's the research.
2026-11-10
7 min read
- 03
How to Remember Names in Meetings: Why They Vanish in Seconds and the Retrieval Trick That Makes Them Stay
Forgot someone's name the moment they said it? Learn how to remember names in meetings: why they slip away, why it isn't rudeness, and the spaced-recall habit that fixes it.
2026-11-10
7 min read
- 04
Why Video Calls Feel Awkward: Turn-Taking, the 200-Millisecond Gap, and Why Lag Reads as Coldness
Talking over each other on video calls isn't a social failing. It's a timing problem. Learn why a one-second lag reads as coldness and how to take turns more smoothly.
2026-11-09
7 min read
- 05
How to Give Praise at Work: Why Specific Thanks Lands and Vague Praise Disappears
Learn how to give praise at work that people believe. Why 'great job, everyone' fades by lunch, and what the research on gratitude says about the thanks you've been holding back.
2026-11-09
7 min read
- 06
How to Calm Down When You're Angry in a Meeting: Affect Labeling and Why Naming the Feeling Works
How to calm down when you're angry in a meeting: affect labeling, the research-backed habit of naming a feeling in one or two words, can dial down its intensity.
2026-11-09
7 min read
- 07
Why Do I Apologize So Much at Work? The Reflexive 'Sorry' in Meetings and What to Say Instead
Why do I apologize so much at work? The reflexive 'sorry' in meetings is rarely about guilt. Learn what it's really doing, what it costs you, and what to say instead.
2026-11-08
7 min read
- 08
How to Ask for Feedback After a Presentation: Why "How Did I Do?" Gets You Nothing (and What to Ask Instead)
Learn how to ask for feedback after a presentation and get honest answers. Why "How did I do?" fails, and the one-word swap from feedback to advice that works.
2026-11-08
7 min read
- 09
Why Does My Boss Look Angry in Meetings? The Science of the Neutral Face and Misreading Silence as Disapproval
Why does my boss look angry in meetings? Often they don't. Neutral faces get misread as negative, especially when you're anxious. Here's the science and how to check.
2026-11-07
7 min read
- 10
How to Accept a Compliment at Work: Why You Deflect Praise in Meetings and What to Say Instead
Learning how to accept a compliment at work starts with seeing why you wave praise away. The reflex has a name, and what it costs the person who praised you may surprise you.
2026-11-07
7 min read
- 11
Reflective Listening in Meetings: Why Paraphrasing What You Heard Calms Tension and Changes Minds
Reflective listening in meetings is a small habit with a big payoff: say back what you heard before you respond. Here's what the research says about why it works.
2026-11-06
7 min read
- 12
How to Apologize to a Coworker After Snapping in a Meeting (and Why Timing Matters as Much as Words)
Snapped at a coworker in a meeting? Learn how to apologize after losing your temper at work, what a repair needs to include, and why the first hour matters most.
2026-11-06
7 min read
- 13
Emotional Exhaustion After Meetings: Surface Acting, Suppression, and the Cost of Smiling Through It
Why does emotional exhaustion after meetings hit even when nothing went wrong? The research on surface acting and suppression explains the drain, and what to do about it.
2026-11-06
7 min read
- 14
How to Disagree in a Meeting Without Making It Personal: Task Conflict vs. Relationship Conflict
Learn how to disagree in a meeting without making it personal. The task-versus-relationship conflict distinction explains why a fair point can feel like an attack.
2026-11-05
7 min read
- 15
Awkward Small Talk Before a Meeting: Why You Dread It, and Why Skipping It Costs You More Than You Think
Dreading small talk before a meeting? Research on weak ties and misjudged conversations shows why those first two minutes matter, and how to use them without faking it.
2026-11-05
7 min read
- 16
Who Always Takes the Notes? Non-Promotable Tasks in Meetings and the Volunteer's Dilemma
Why does the same person end up taking notes, booking rooms and planning the party? Non-promotable tasks in meetings follow a pattern, and a simple rotation fixes it.
2026-11-04
6 min read
- 17
How to Win Over a Coworker Who Doesn't Like You: The Ben Franklin Effect and the Power of Asking for a Small Favor
The Ben Franklin effect at work: why asking a cold coworker for a small favor can warm them up when doing them one can't. Here's the psychology and how to use it.
2026-11-04
7 min read
- 18
Why Your Team Won't Buy In to Decisions: The Voice Effect and Why Being Heard Matters More Than Getting Your Way
Team won't buy in to a decision? The voice effect shows why people accept outcomes they dislike when they were heard first, and how to build that into your next meeting.
2026-11-03
7 min read
- 19
New Job, Quiet in Meetings? Belonging Uncertainty and Why Ambiguity Feels Like Rejection
Feel like an outsider in meetings at a new job? Belonging uncertainty turns ambiguous moments into verdicts. Learn how to feel like you belong at work, starting this week.
2026-11-03
7 min read
- 20
How to Stop Replaying a Tense Moment From a Work Meeting: Self-Distancing and the Fly on the Wall
How to stop replaying a work conflict: why your mind rewinds a tense meeting exchange at 2 a.m., and the self-distancing trick researchers use to loosen its grip.
2026-11-03
7 min read
- 21
Checking Your Phone in Meetings: What Phubbing Tells the Person Speaking, and How to Stop
Phone use in meetings feels like a harmless glance, but the speaker reads it as a verdict. Here's what research on phubbing shows about trust, and how to stop doing it.
2026-11-03
7 min read
- 22
Why Does My Mind Wander in Meetings? The Science of Zoning Out and How to Come Back
Why does my mind wander in meetings? Research says it's normal, not rude. Learn what zoning out is, why it spikes in talky meetings, and how to catch it and return.
2026-11-02
7 min read
- 23
Can't Stop Thinking About a Work Meeting at Night? The Zeigarnik Effect and How a Plan Closes the Loop
Can't stop thinking about a work meeting at night? Unfinished business keeps replaying in your mind. Here's the science of why, and a five-minute way to close the loop.
2026-11-02
7 min read
- 24
What to Say When You Don't Know the Answer in a Meeting: Why Your Mind Goes Blank and How to Recover
What to say when you don't know the answer in a meeting: why your mind goes blank under pressure, and a three-part reply that makes 'I don't know' sound like judgment.
2026-11-01
7 min read
- 25
Ignored in Hybrid Meetings? Proximity Bias and Why the Person on the Screen Becomes Invisible
Ignored in hybrid meetings? Proximity bias, not your talent, may be why the remote voice fades. Here's the psychology behind it and how to be heard again.
2026-11-01
7 min read
- 26
Impostor Syndrome in Meetings: Why Overpreparing Keeps You Feeling Like a Fraud
Impostor syndrome in meetings rarely goes away with more preparation. Often the prep is what keeps it going. Here's the cycle behind it and how to break it this week.
2026-10-31
7 min read
- 27
How to Take Better Meeting Notes: Why Writing Down Everything Means Remembering Nothing
Learn how to take better meeting notes. Why transcribing everything leaves you remembering nothing, and a simple method that makes you think instead of type.
2026-10-31
7 min read
- 28
How to Calm Nerves Before a Meeting: Why 'Just Relax' Fails and Anxiety Reappraisal Works
How to calm nerves before a meeting: telling yourself to relax backfires. Research on anxiety reappraisal points to a smarter move, and it takes about ten seconds.
2026-10-31
7 min read
- 29
Negative Feedback in a Performance Review: Why One Criticism Drowns Out Ten Compliments
Got negative feedback in a performance review and can't stop replaying it? Here's why one criticism outweighs ten compliments, and how to hear the useful part.
2026-10-30
7 min read
- 30
Afraid to Ask a Question in a Meeting? Pluralistic Ignorance and Why Everyone Else Is Confused Too
Afraid to ask a question in a meeting because everyone else seems to get it? Pluralistic ignorance explains why the room is usually just as lost as you are.
2026-10-30
7 min read
- 31
Boss Scheduled a Meeting With No Context? Why a Vague Invite Feels Worse Than Bad News
Your boss scheduled a meeting with no context, and now your whole day is gone. Research shows uncertainty is more stressful than bad news. Here's what to do.
2026-10-29
7 min read
- 32
Crying in a Meeting at Work: Why Tears Usually Mean Frustration, Not Weakness, and What to Do in the Moment
Crying in a meeting at work feels like failure. The science says it's usually frustration overflowing, and fighting it makes it worse. Here's what to do instead.
2026-10-28
7 min read
- 33
How to Sound More Confident in Meetings: Why 'This Might Be a Dumb Idea, But...' Costs You More Than You Think
Want to know how to sound more confident in meetings? Start with the disclaimer you say before every idea. The science of hedging, and why it quietly erases you.
2026-10-27
6 min read
- 34
How to Deliver Bad News in a Meeting: The MUM Effect and Why Every Project Is Green Until It's Too Late
Learn how to deliver bad news in a meeting without being shot as the messenger. The MUM effect explains why every project stays green until it's too late.
2026-10-27
7 min read
- 35
How to Say No in a Meeting: The 'Yes...Damn!' Effect and Why You Keep Volunteering for Work You Don't Have Time For
Learn how to say no in a meeting without sounding difficult. The 'yes...damn' effect explains why you keep volunteering for work you don't have time to do.
2026-10-26
6 min read
- 36
Being Interrupted in Meetings: Why Getting Talked Over Feels Like Being Erased, and How to Hold the Floor
Being interrupted in meetings stings more than it should. Here is the turn-taking science behind why people cut you off, and how to keep the floor without a fight.
2026-10-26
6 min read
- 37
Awkward Silence in Meetings: Why Four Seconds Feels Like Rejection, and Why the Best Facilitators Wait Anyway
Awkward silence in meetings triggers a rejection response in about four seconds. Here's the research on why waiting through it gets better answers from everyone.
2026-10-26
7 min read
- 38
The Next-in-Line Effect: Why You Stop Listening in Meetings Right Before It's Your Turn to Speak
The next-in-line effect in meetings explains why you miss whatever is said right before your turn. The science of silent rehearsal, and how to actually hear your team.
2026-10-25
7 min read
- 39
Someone Took Credit for Your Idea in a Meeting? Cryptomnesia and Why They May Not Know They Did It
Someone took credit for my idea in a meeting, and they may not even know it. The psychology of cryptomnesia, and how to get your idea back without becoming the bitter one.
2026-10-25
7 min read
- 40
Left Out of Meetings at Work? Why Being Excluded From the Invite Hurts So Much, and What to Do With the Sting
Left out of meetings at work? Exclusion sets off the same alarm system as physical pain. Here's the science of the sting, and what to do in the hour after you notice.
2026-10-24
7 min read
- 41
How to Admit a Mistake in a Meeting: The Pratfall Effect and Why Being Wrong in Public Can Make People Trust You More
How to admit a mistake in a meeting without losing respect: the pratfall effect and the beautiful mess effect show why owning an error can make people trust you more.
2026-10-24
7 min read
- 42
Why Playing Devil's Advocate Doesn't Work in Meetings, and What Real Dissent Does Instead
Playing devil's advocate in meetings feels like rigor, but the research says role-played dissent rarely changes minds. Here's why, and what to do instead.
2026-10-23
7 min read
- 43
How to Run a Pre-Mortem Meeting: The Psychology of Imagining Your Project Already Failed
Learn how to run a pre-mortem meeting that brings out the doubts your team is too loyal to say aloud. Imagine the project has already failed, then ask what killed it.
2026-10-23
7 min read
- 44
Complaining in Meetings: Why One Gripe Becomes Twenty Minutes, and How to Break the Cycle
Complaining in meetings feels like honesty, but research shows one gripe reliably triggers the next. Here's how complaining cycles work, and how to break them.
2026-10-23
7 min read
- 45
Status Quo Bias in Meetings: Why the Idea Already in the Room Almost Always Wins
Status quo bias in meetings explains why good proposals lose to whatever you're already doing. Here's the science of inertia—and how to beat it.
2026-10-22
6 min read
- 46
Group Polarization in Meetings: Why Teams Leave More Extreme Than They Arrived
Group polarization in meetings turns mild leanings into bold commitments no one would make alone. Here's the psychology behind it, and how to catch it in time.
2026-10-22
7 min read
- 47
Why You Can't Get Anything Done Before a Meeting: The Psychology of Bounded Time
Why you can't get anything done before a meeting: the science of bounded time, how a 3 p.m. meeting quietly shrinks your whole afternoon — and how to win it back.
2026-07-12
6 min read
- 48
Confirmation Bias in Meetings: Why the Decision Was Made Before Anyone Walked In
Confirmation bias in meetings turns discussion into ratification. The science of why teams gather evidence for choices already made — and what actually changes minds.
2026-07-12
6 min read
- 49
Why You Can't Think Clearly in Meetings: Social Facilitation and the Hidden Cost of Being Watched
Ever find the perfect answer an hour after the meeting ends? Social facilitation explains why you can't think in meetings — and what actually fixes it.
2026-07-11
6 min read
- 50
The Illusory Truth Effect in Meetings: Why an Idea Repeated Enough Times Becomes a Fact
The illusory truth effect in meetings turns repeated claims into office facts no one checks — here's the psychology, and how to catch it before it shapes your roadmap.
2026-07-11
7 min read
- 51
Should This Meeting Have Been an Email? The Real Science Behind the Joke
Should this meeting have been an email? Communication science has an actual answer — a two-word test that tells you when to meet and when to just write it down.
2026-07-11
7 min read
- 52
The Fundamental Attribution Error in Meetings: Why You Judge Your Coworkers by Their Worst Hour
The fundamental attribution error in meetings makes you read a quiet colleague as disengaged and yourself as merely busy. The science of why — and how to stop.
2026-07-10
7 min read
- 53
Egocentric Bias in Meetings: Why Everyone Thinks They Talked the Least and Did the Most
Egocentric bias in meetings makes every person quietly certain they contributed more and spoke less than they did. Here's the memory glitch behind it — and the fix.
2026-07-10
7 min read
- 54
Hindsight Bias in Retrospectives: Why Every Meeting Postmortem Concludes It Was Obvious
Hindsight bias in retrospectives quietly rewrites what your team knew before the decision — turning an honest hard call into an obvious mistake. Here's how to stop it.
2026-07-09
7 min read
- 55
Emotional Contagion in Meetings: Why One Person's Bad Mood Quietly Rewrites the Room
Emotional contagion in meetings means moods spread faster than ideas — one tense voice can reshape a whole decision. Here's the science, and how to stop being a carrier.
2026-07-09
7 min read
- 56
The Spotlight Effect: Why You Overthink What You Said in a Meeting Long After Everyone Else Forgot
Why you overthink what you said in a meeting comes down to the spotlight effect—the bias that makes your stumbles feel unforgettable while everyone else has already moved on.
2026-07-08
6 min read
- 57
The IKEA Effect in Meetings: Why We Defend the Ideas We Built Ourselves
The IKEA effect explains why we defend our own ideas in meetings even when they stop making sense — and how to separate authorship from ownership so the best idea wins.
2026-07-08
6 min read
- 58
The Curse of Knowledge: Why the Person Who Knows the Most Is the Hardest to Follow in Meetings
The curse of knowledge in meetings explains why experts explain things badly: once you know something, you can't un-know it. Here's the mechanism and the fix.
2026-07-08
6 min read
- 59
Why Talkative People Seem Like Leaders in Meetings: The Babble Hypothesis
Why talkative people seem like leaders in meetings has less to do with what they say than how much they say it. Meet the babble hypothesis — and how to fix it.
2026-07-07
6 min read
- 60
Groupthink in Meetings: Why the Most Agreeable Teams Make the Worst Decisions
Groupthink in meetings makes smart teams choose badly when everyone agrees too quickly. Here's the psychology behind it—and how to build in the doubt that saves you.
2026-07-07
6 min read
- 61
Decision Fatigue in Meetings: Why Afternoon Meetings Make Worse Decisions
Decision fatigue in meetings explains why the same team that reasons carefully at 10 a.m. defaults, defers, and rubber-stamps by 4 p.m. — and how to schedule around it.
2026-07-06
7 min read
- 62
Authority Bias in Meetings: Why the Highest-Paid Person's Opinion Quietly Wins
Authority bias in meetings means the highest-paid person's opinion quietly wins. Here's the science of why teams defer—and how to design the deference out.
2026-07-06
6 min read
- 63
Why No One Remembers What Was Decided in Meetings: The Science of Team Memory
Why no one remembers what was decided in meetings: the next-in-line effect, transactive memory, and why five smart listeners leave with five different versions.
2026-07-04
6 min read
- 64
The Illusion of Transparency: Why Everyone Leaves the Same Meeting With a Different Version of It
The illusion of transparency in meetings convinces speakers they were understood and listeners that they understood. The psychology of the gap — and how to close it.
2026-07-04
7 min read
- 65
The True Cost of Meetings: Opportunity Cost Neglect, or Why an Hour Never Feels Expensive
Meetings feel free because no invoice ever arrives. Learn the true cost of meetings, the psychology of opportunity cost neglect, and how to make the price visible.
2026-07-03
6 min read
- 66
How to End a Meeting Effectively: The Peak-End Rule and Why the Last Five Minutes Matter Most
Learn how to end a meeting effectively. The peak-end rule shows the final minutes shape how everyone remembers the whole hour — and whether decisions stick.
2026-07-03
6 min read
- 67
Anchoring Bias in Meetings: Why the First Idea Spoken Sets the Whole Decision
Anchoring bias in meetings means the first number or idea spoken quietly sets the range for everything after. Here's the science — and how to break the anchor.
2026-07-03
7 min read
- 68
Why Video Calls Are So Exhausting: The Science of Zoom Fatigue
Why are video calls so exhausting? Stanford researchers named four mechanisms behind Zoom fatigue — close-up gaze, self-view, and more — and what actually helps.
2026-07-02
6 min read
- 69
The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Why Recurring Meetings Outlive Their Purpose
The sunk cost fallacy explains why recurring meetings never get cancelled long after they stop being useful. Learn the psychology and how to retire dead meetings.
2026-06-27
7 min read
- 70
Parkinson's Law: Why Every Meeting Expands to Fill the Full Hour
Why meetings always run the full hour, explained by Parkinson's Law. Learn how the time you book becomes the time you spend — and how to shrink it.
2026-06-27
7 min read
- 71
Why Group Brainstorming Produces Fewer Ideas: Production Blocking Explained
Why group brainstorming produces fewer ideas than people thinking alone — production blocking explained, plus the simple structure that gives a meeting its ideas back.
2026-06-26
7 min read
- 72
Why You Can't Focus After Back-to-Back Meetings: Attention Residue Explained
Attention residue is why you can't focus after back-to-back meetings — your mind stays stuck on the last call. Here's the science and how to clear it.
2026-06-24
7 min read
- 73
The Common Knowledge Effect: Why Meetings Rehash What Everyone Already Knows
The common knowledge effect explains why meetings rehash shared facts and bury the one detail that mattered. Learn the hidden profile problem and how to fix it.
2026-06-24
7 min read
- 74
Bikeshedding: Why Meetings Spend the Most Time on the Least Important Decisions
Bikeshedding in meetings explains why your team debates the coffee budget for an hour but approves a six-figure plan in minutes. Here's the mechanism — and the fix.
2026-06-23
7 min read
- 75
Why People Don't Speak Up in Meetings — and the Hidden Cost of the Silence
Why people don't speak up in meetings usually isn't apathy — it's psychological safety, evaluation apprehension, and anchoring. Here's what silence really costs you, and how to fix it.
2026-06-22
7 min read
- 76
Why Large Meetings Get Less Done: The Ringelmann Effect and the Hidden Math of Group Effort
Why large meetings get less done isn't about bad facilitation—it's the Ringelmann effect and social loafing. Learn the science of group effort and the fix.
2026-06-22
7 min read
- 77
The Abilene Paradox: Why Teams Agree to Decisions No One Actually Wants
The Abilene paradox explains why teams agree to decisions no one wants. Learn the mechanism behind false consensus in meetings—and how to surface real dissent before it's too late.
2026-06-22
7 min read
- 78
Why Meeting Action Items Don't Get Done — And How to Make Them Stick
Why meeting action items don't get done, explained through the psychology of diffusion of responsibility and implementation intentions — plus how to write follow-ups that actually happen.
2026-06-19
7 min read
- 79
Why Your Meetings Run Long: The Planning Fallacy and How to Fix Time Estimates
Meetings run long because of the planning fallacy—our brain's bias toward best-case time estimates. Learn the science of why and how to fix meeting time estimates.
2026-06-16
7 min read